Locker Room Antics!

Which seriously, not as hot as it sounds... although there was jerking off in a cupboard watching a sexy football team showering. Okay, so it was pretty hot but that's not the point of this blog.

Anyway, back to the point. I ended up talking to M in the locker room today, while he was pretty much naked except for a towel, it's the start of most of my dreams these days. Except in my dreams, I'm just in the towel too... or we're in the showers... or... sorry, I drifted off for a moment there...

ANYWAY, we were just talking and it got sort of weird. M's been seeming a little down lately so I just offered him a shoulder to cry on, a friendly ear, a mouth to violate. But while we talked, I found myself turning into a goofy schoolgirl, all gushing and nervous and giggly. I'm NEVER like that. But the weirdest part was, M was kinda the same. I mean, not as obviously as I was, he just seemed a little more shy and nervous around me too. But not in a bad way, y'know? In more of... well, the way I was really.

What the hell am I supposed to take from this? I know what I'd like to think, I know what I want it to mean but surely that's wishful thinking. I mean, M's straight for a start, he's never given me reason to believe otherwise. And if he wasn't, why would he want someone like me? I mean, yeah, I am fuckin' hot but I'm not exactly the kind of guy people fall for.

I'm a little confused by all of this now. On the one hand, I want him to feel the same way about me so badly that it's actually a little humiliating. On the other, I don't know what I'd do with the knowledge if I found out he did.

Ugh, love is so confusing!